Headships

I just wanted to quickly cover a portion of my last post. Not that there's been a huge public outcry over what I wrote or anything, but I want to show that what we believe comes right from the word of God. And one more thing before I get started. I am not a dictator in the house. I do like order in the house, but that's just because my wife has spoiled me with keeping an orderly house. For the most part, I'm not too demanding. The reason I point this out is because I don't want people to think that I am extremely tyrannical, constantly shoving down my wifes throat that she must submit to me because thus saith the Lord!! Most of the scripture I'll run through is directed to the wives. I really have no business reading that portion of scripture. This is a subject for my wife to deal with. I have my own hurdles, like loving my wife (not that it's hard to love my wife; she really makes it very easy) and keeping her spotless and without wrinkle.
First of all, the headships are covered pretty unquestionably. Ephesians 5:23 says: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. We know without a doubt that Christ is the head of the church. For Paul (through inspiration of God) to compare the husband/wife relationship to that of Christ and church, it must be merited. I Corinthians 11:3 states: But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. Enough said about headship? These verses are pretty straight-forward.
Most of the arguments against this that we hear go something like this: "I believe that a woman should always obey the Bible and not man." Okay, lets see what the Bible says about wives obeying your husbands. Ephesians 5:22 says: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Most women try to make this verse say something that it doesn't. They get hung up on the "as unto the Lord" part, as if trying to make it say that you submit to the Lord as opposed to your husband. It clearly states that you are to submit unto your husband, just like you would submit unto the Lord. And men, see who this is directed to? And what's it say? Women, submit yourselves unto your own husband. Not "Husbands, see that your wives submit unto you." This is an issue for the wives to work out. Typically, she doesn't need your help, and certainly doesn't need to be reminded of this. Also women, see how it says to submit unto your own husbands? Not someone else's husband, including the pastor/preacher/minister. Titus 2:4-5 says that the aged women are to: ...teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Hmm... this says that if your not obedient to your own husband, the word of God is blasphemed.That sounds pretty serious. How do these things get swept under the rug. This is a serious accusation. If a woman is not obedient to their husbands, they are blaspheming the word of God. Definition of blaspheme, in case you're wondering: defame, rail on, revile, speak evil. Who wants to be accused of that? But that certainly is referring to a Christian husband. Most women wouldn't have a problem subjecting to a Christian husband. Women can't be expected to be obedient to a non-saved, non-spiritual husband can she? Let's look at the Ephesians passage all put together. Ephesians 5:22-24 states: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Once again, a comparison of how the church is subject to Christ. It also says that a wife is to be subject to her husband in every thing. Everything means every thing, doesn't it? Except in spiritual matters, right? Well lets look at another passage. So far, we've just heard Paul's opinion...and he wasn't even married. Peter wrote in 1 Peter 3:1-2 that: Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Peter says, to the wives, that if there are any unbelieving husbands, wives should be in subjection [to subordinate; reflexively to obey: - be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit self unto] to their husbands, that their conversation [behavior: - conversation] towards him might win him to the Lord. So even if your husband is not spiritual, even if he is not saved, it is very clear that the woman is supposed to be obedient, submissive, in subjection to him regardless.
Historically:
From what I've seen, and I've become pretty observant, women who come out from under the husbands authority (headship) have homes and households that leave much to be desired. A vast majority of these homes have unhappy or broken marriages and rebellious, wayward children. Conversely, I've read stories (and met) unsaved families living in complete harmony because the wives are under the headship of the husbands. The children are unsaved and unchurched, but are obedient to the parents. This proves to me that the women have a lot of control to set the mood of the family. It also goes to show that the writers of the Bible knew that God's direction not only applies to those in the Church, but is a natural order in the world also. As the devil tries to take over the world, it would make sense that he would start in the home. And as much influence as the wives/mothers have in the homes, this seems to be a prime target.
Before you say to me or to yourself that being obedient to a non-spiritual husband may effect your salvation, I'll try to get my thoughts together and post on this as well (Faith, Works and Salvation). And if you still have issue with what I wrote, take it up with God in prayer. Read through the referenced passages. God wrote it. These are His ideas. If you still have issues, let me know and I will try to clarify. Or better yet, ask your husbands! 1 Corinthians 14:35 And if they (women) will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home:

Words of Wisdom

It’s amazing what gems you’ll stumble across if you sit quietly and listen. These words of wisdom were overheard at my company picnic this summer.

 

A mother to her child: “Eat your supper, not your butter!”

 

Hmm…may not have everyday application, but should probably file it away for future reference.

 

Then just a couple weeks ago I was playing a game with Grace, our 4 year old. She was ready to move on to another game:

 

Grace: “Where are those ‘burp-sticks’?”

Me: “Burp-Sticks?”

Grace: “Yeah, Abigail’s little burp-sticks.”

 

I thought for a minute. Then it occurred to me that the day before she was playing with Abigail’s ‘hiccup-sticks’. Abigail had received Pick-up Sticks for her birthday from a grandma. Somehow a transition transpired from ‘Pick-up Sticks’ to ‘Hiccup-Sticks’ and from ‘Hiccup-Sticks’ to another bodily function; ‘Burp-Sticks’. Sometimes it’s like detective work just figuring out what your little ones are trying to say.

Church, Family and Church Family

Wow, it's been a while.

First off, we're all doing well. It's evident that we're headed into the winter up here. We've been winterizing the house by splitting and stacking wood, putting storm windows in, cleaning out gutters and raking the yard. My wife said the forecast looks like cold and wintry mixes possible this week with highs in the 40's. Seems too early to be experiencing this, but we are in the UP. Geographically, we're more than half-way (to the north) between the Equator and the North Pole.

We've had a rough week. We found out a while back that we had some distinct (and probably major) doctrinal differences with the church that we've been attending. At first, we thought that we could overlook them and just enjoy the fellowship. We love the people and they truly helped us get through a difficult time. Then some things transpired. With encouragement from the ministers wife, my wife gave counsel to some questioning women. The next Sunday, the counsel was ripped apart from the pulpit (by the ministers dad who was filling in), completely butchering the passages that she used. The question was regarding the headship at home. My wife said that the husband is the head of the wife and not the minister. She referenced Ephesians 5, 1 Peter 3 and Titus 2. Each passage specifically states the hierarchy (this may be the wrong word) of the home, without condition. It was preached that a non-spiritual man can't lead a family properly. That if he tells her to do something opposed to the word of God (or opposed to the minister), that she should come out from under his authority and do what's "right". By doing something "opposed to the word of God", I mean if the husband insisted that she stay home from church or cut her hair (ref. the passage in 1 Corinthians 11 regarding hair/covering). It's obvious to us that these are not issues that would cost the wife her salvation. The church felt otherwise. And why should she submit to him, he doesn't love her like Christ loved the church.They made it very conditional (not even mentioning the passage in Peter that specifically says that if your husband isn't a believer, submit to him so that your chase conversation (conduct) might lead him to the Lord). After this, we sat back and watched for a while. We noticed a few things. First, the minister always stated the fact that it was easier to get women into the church than it was men. My theory: by telling the women to disobey their husbands and listen to the minister, this is creating huge amounts of dissension in the home. If she constantly runs to the minster with her problems, what's this doing to the man's self-esteem? No wonder your husband doesn't "love you like Christ loved the church". And what's the point of him trying to lead his family when you're running to the minister double-guessing every decision he makes? As a man, I wouldn't go to that church either. I believe these ministries are destroying families. One poll I read stated that this denomination had the highest divorce rate among all denominations. I can believe it. They had a revival-type meeting last week. We went for one night to "observe". What we noticed was how fake-ly happy the women looked, how unhappy the children looked and how beat-down the men looked. And it was obvious that the women controlled the service. Not by the up-front leading like preaching or song leading; that would be too obvious. They were much more "worshipful" and much louder "praisers". They controlled the mood of the service. I know that might not make sense, but if you sit back and watch, you might see what I mean in your own services. Besides this, we couldn't even feel comfortable inviting others to attend the church because the other doctrinal differences. I'm glad we teach doctrine to our children at home or else this could have completely confused them. Needless to say, I let the minister know that we wouldn't be worshiping there anymore. I'm sure he'll be out to talk. We pray that God opens his heart to the truth. We'll still be friends.

Another observation we had over the weekend. This time it was Sunday at another church we were visiting. We found out that this church was of the "Free-Will" theology, meaning that once someone was saved, there was no way to lose their salvation. We also noticed that they had a huge children's ministry. I was a bit baffled for a while. I wondered what percentage of the kids that came (which it was mentioned that 25 kids came on the bus that morning), stayed in the church for three, five, ten years. I know that if one comes to the Lord, it's all worth it. And I'm not opposed to children's ministries, but shouldn't the main push be for the parents? Get them into the church? I understand that not every parent is going to be receptive of the gospel, but shouldn't that be at least a focus. Then the children just kind of ran wild. One girl had on the roller-skate shoes and was zipping in and out of the sanctuary. Then something hit me there, also. Seeing their stance on salvation, they had in mind to get the kids in, lead them in a "sinners prayer" and baptize them, then let the children run free if they chose to. According to their doctrine, the children are eternally saved regardless of the lifestyle they move onto. Their invitation to salvation seemed so passive and cold. It nearly made me shiver. We won't be going back there either.

We're going to take a break and study at home what we believe and why. First, I'm going to break down the Apostles Creed and study it out, giving scripture references. Then we'll move on to more of a Knapp's Statement of Faith. We may take a break somewhere in there to visit a home church we know of about 30-40 miles from us. I really want to solidify our core and our foundation first. I also need to find a place to baptize one of the children. Eshell checked on-line the other day the temperature of Lake Superior (just a few miles from us)...a chilly 48 degrees. Lake Michigan, about an hours drive, was about ten degrees warmer.

That's it for now. Keep us in your prayers that we survive our first Yooper winter!

God bless!