Where You Came From

My sister-in-law was here visiting yesterday and before she left, she said something that has stuck with me. She was commenting on the baby and my wifes delivery and she said (paraphrased): “Don't ever forget how God has delivered you. Don't be like the Israelites and forget where God has brought you.”

First of all, I could not forget God's goodness and mercy towards us. When you have a need and ask in faith for God to meet that need, He does. Even if it's not a need. He has filled so many “wants” in our life. What my sister-in-law said applies to each Christian. We should never forget where God brought us out of or how He did it. At this time, being so close to Susanna's birth, it means so much more to us.

We had Ross, our first child, about a year and a month after we were married. Pregnancy was great. Eshell (my wife) did wonderfully through it all. We went through Lamaze and learned the breathing and everything. The doctor induced her two days after her due date because her blood pressure was high. It's amazing that was ten years ago! He is such a big help to me!

Brookelyn came along 22 months after Ross. 11 weeks into the pregnancy, Eshell started bleeding heavily. The doctor told us that she was carrying twins and that she had lost one. He told her to stop nursing Ross as this was possibly adding to the complications she was having (which we now don't think had anything to do with it). She ended up delivering Brookelyn seven weeks early. She spent some time (I think seven days) in the NICU at Parkview hospital. That was difficult. Not only seeing our baby in the incubator, not being able to hold her, but seeing some of the atrocities in the NICU. I saw another preemie in there who was (thanks to the mother) addicted to crack-cocaine. The poor thing just constantly shook as it was withdrawing from the poison the mother polluted it with. Of all the time we spent at the hospital while she was in (we practically lived there) no one ever came to see that baby. The nurses or doctors were not supposed to disclose information about the other babies in there, but most of them shared pretty openly with us. Some mothers would go home after delivering prematurely and say “Just let me know when I can come an pick up the baby” and the staff would not see the mother until they called. Sometimes it would be days or weeks. We got Brookelyn home and she is developing into a beautiful young lady.

Dylan was another 22 months after Brookelyn. He was a surprise. Some of the same complications came. Heavy bleeding which led to bed rest and many visits to the ER for ultrasounds. I believe it was with Dylan that Eshell had a condition called placenta previa (the placenta is situated over the cervix). Dylan was born six weeks early and was in NICU for 11 days (I believe). Dylan now has two speeds: sleeping and 140mph. 100% boy! I love it!

Between Dylan and Abigail was another 22 months. Same old routine. We were seeing a specialist this time. Eshell developed a placental abruption (tear) with this pregnancy which caused more bleeding and more bed rest. The doctor kept telling us that with the last two babies being premature and the high possibility that this would be also, our odds of ever having a full term baby in the future were nearly impossible. It was recommended by any medical professional and most others (friends/family) that we stop having children. The delivery was not a good one. One nurse tried to “help” with our other children by offering to call social services to have them pick our children up. That wasn't much help in the midst of a terrible labor. They tried to turn Eshell's labor off by giving her magnesium sulfate. She had a terrible and unexpected reaction to it. First, it made her hallucinate. Next, it's effects were delayed. Her labor showed no signs of slowing down. She continued to have contractions for several hours. After they realized that it wasn't working, they thought they would just speed up the labor by giving her pitocin to increase contractions. Just about as soon as they gave it to her the magnesium sulfate kicked in. Her body was now trying to stop the labor. No need to worry, though. Then the pitocin started working and her body slowly started laboring again. It was miserable. She delivered Abigail seven weeks early. Abigail spent 13 days in NICU. Another lovely young lady.

We had been talking a lot about having a baby at home using a midwife. I didn't have much faith that that would ever happen. Given our history in childbearing, the future of home-birth looked pretty bleak. By this time, we were committed to letting God plan our family size. We had listened to all of the risks and had taken it into consideration, but like I've said in the past, I really felt that God was to be in control of every area of our lives. All of our children and Eshell were healthy. Early deliveries and hospital stays were inconvenient, but the blessing far out-weighed this. Needless to say, Eshell got pregnant again. We were going to a different family doctor at this time. A very godly man whom we respect very much. I may be wrong, but I think the first time we met him was with this first prenatal visit. We expressed to him our desire to have the baby at home if she could make it to full term. I was expecting a negative response. He had her file. He was looking through our past deliveries. Instead, he was very supportive of us. In fact, he prayed for us before we left the office. He laid his hand on Eshell's shoulder and prayed that God would heal her womb; that she might carry the baby full term, and that God would honor our desire to have the baby at home. Eshell's early pregnancy was pretty rough. A lot of sickness. She would wake up in the night to throw up. We made contact with a midwife and explained our situation. She was very informative. She explained her situation. She would not be able to deliver a baby any earlier than 37 weeks. That was our goal to shoot for. Several nights I would lay in bed with my hand on Eshell's belly and pray for healing and that we could meet the required 37 weeks. 37 weeks came and went. We had Grace at 39 weeks; 30 months after Abigail! What an amazing experience. The midwife let me deliver Grace as she coached me. Very moving. Needless to say, we praised God! We're still praising God. Grace is now 2 and a half and has four older siblings that wait on her hand and foot. They all get along great.

After such a positive experience with Grace, when we found out that we were pregnant again, we didn't even consult the doctor. We went right to the midwife. From the beginning of the pregnancy I felt so strongly that God had healed Eshell, I may have gotten arrogant. Her pregnancy went very well with Susanna. At around 32 or 33 weeks, the devil started planting some fear and doubt in my mind. This is when Eshell labored with our preemies. God strengthened us through this time and brought us to (almost) 39 weeks; another 28 months after Grace. Praise Him for His goodness!! Susanna and Eshell are both doing wonderfully. I know Susanna will bring us as much joy as the others have!

We have not forgotten where we came from or how we got here. We do remember God's mercy to us. He knows our needs and is mindful, but he also blesses according to our desires. I pray that God is blessed and glorified by this family. I thank Him for giving us the strength to press on when the trip looked dark and painful. He was with us each inch of the journey.

I know this post got a bit long. If you stuck it out till the end, I appreciate it. It's a peek into our personal (and usually private) lives, but it's a story that is worth telling. I hope somebody else may be blessed by it and, once again, God might be glorified by it. All praise to HIM!!

God Bless!!

Baby Knapp

My wife gave birth to Susanna Joy on friday afternoon. She weighed 7 lbs. 14 oz. and measured 20 inches long. What a blessing she is. The children are adjusting well. They can't hold and kiss her enough. She has other ideas. She would rather nurse and sleep. Rough life, I know. Baby and mom are both doing very well. I took this week off of work. I hope to be able to post a bit more than what I have been. Please keep us in your prayers as we are still adjusting.

God bless!

Whose Conviction Is It Anyway?

We heard a good message at church this weekend. It went along with something that's been on my mind for maybe a month now. He used Romans 14 as the text. The basic foundation of his message was that you cannot live under someone else's conviction. He elaborated on some examples from the text such as diet; specifically eating meat and honoring the “Sabbath”, whenever that might be. He certainly got into much more detail and used many more examples that I won't mention, but as I said before, the meat of it was that if you are living under someone else's conviction, you are binding yourself under law. This is an easy thing for me to do. I love to read or hear how someone got close to the Lord through some principle or some method. How the Lord is really blessing a family for their obedience in some area. I'm a man, I like road maps. I'm also an engineer, I like formulas. Show me the way. Point me in the right direction. I'm great at following instructions!

Your faith isn't quite like that. It's YOUR faith. I can't get close to the Lord on my parents' faith. My brothers' faith won't get me to heaven. I need to show the Lord that I trust Him by being obedient to Him. Not someone else's principles or convictions.

When we started getting close to the Lord, my wife and I searched out what was working in other peoples lives and tried to integrate it into ours. We weren't seeking the Lord. We were seeking men. We were seeking in the wrong place. We met a lot of godly people who really loved the Lord and were being used by Him. Regardless of how we mimicked them, it was someone else's life we were trying to live. We gave up a lot of things and took on a lot more. Most of the things we gave up were things that should have been given up. Some of the things that we took on was an unnecessary burdensome yoke. It wasn't until WE started seeking the Lord and His will and direction for our lives that He started showing us that the things we were doing were in vane. We had bound ourselves under someone else's law (or their conviction). A lot of the “convictions” we took on made sense. And like I said, it seemed to be working for these other people. Please don't misunderstand me, if the Bible is clear in stating something, we have no choice but to obey it. If something doesn't seem real clear in the scripture or the scripture describes something as being beneficial, allow the Holy Spirit to work in your heart and lead you in this area. I'm not sure why we would need prompted by the Spirit to do something with the promise of blessings or benefits, though (not that it's all about benefits).

One example was allowing the Lord to plan our family size. When we married, I told my wife that I wanted two children and no more. She wanted six. We settled on three. We started hearing about allowing the Lord to plan your family and I initially thought it was nuts. We started meeting more people with this mind-set. My wife was reading a book teaching this and she kept reading passages of it to me. Scriptures were being mentioned; “...be fruitful and multiply” and “Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them (children)...” I thought that maybe this is what “true Christians” were supposed to do. I jumped on the bandwagon. Although it didn't make me real popular, it did make me stand out. I thought I was pretty holy. I had the same “conviction” that all of these godly people did. What I actually had was their conviction! The Lord eventually touched my heart and told me that this is what He has for me and my family. I still felt more righteous than what I should have. I now had my conviction, but I thought everyone else should have my conviction. Not so. I love to see large families. I love to hear stories how God has touched the lives of those who have been faithful to HIS calling in this area. I didn't say everyone gets that calling though. Once again, don't misunderstand. I have a real problem with taking permanent measures to see to it that you don't have any more children. I don't think we should break our bodies for the sake of our own personal pleasures. It would be like me going to the doctor and asking him to take my tonsils out because they are taking up room. "I would kind of like that real-estate in there for something else". Sounds silly. To me, it is silly. It's silly to take our bodies and mutilate them for our own joy. The birth control pill is not okay either. It aborts your babies as opposed to preventing conception from taking place. If you want to control the number and timing of your children, there are natural ways of doing this. Just remember, God is still in control.

Some of the things that we added to or took away from our lives were a real struggle for us. We bounced back and forth. Like James says about the man praying without faith, being tossed to and fro like a wave of the sea. We finally had to step back and assess the situation. It was then that WE sought the Lord and searched out the scriptures. We waited on the Lord to give the go-ahead or the hold-back. He did both. Some things we gave up on. We concluded that the Lord was working on another persons heart by giving the conviction. It wasn't meant for us. Some things He told us to continue doing. When we got that confirmation, it was easier. The yoke became lighter.

One man I used to work with never wore a watch. He told me that he didn't think there was anything wrong with wearing watches, but he couldn't wear one. I asked him why. He said that he used to wear a real nice watch everywhere he went. He noticed how it really made him look nice. He began to notice it when he was worshiping the Lord. It was then that he realized that it was coming between him and the Lord. It sounds kind of weird and petty, but I admired him for that. If he truly thought that his watch was a wedge between him and his savior, he needed to get rid of it. I hope that I am half that sensitive to my own relationship with the Lord. I think that sometimes I'm oblivious to the large, obvious things that come between me and the Lord. May God soften my heart to this.

Just know that God loves us regardless of our lives. There is nothing that we could physically do to make Him love us more. He's already done the most He could do by sending His merciful Son to take our sins upon Him and become our sacrifice once-and-for-all. I do know that our obedience and our faith does please Him. If you see something in someone that seems to be working for them, pray about it. Take it to the Lord and see if it's something He would have for your life. Or if it's something that's blatantly obvious in scripture, don't even pray about it. Just do it! It's a pretty safe bet. Be open to the Lord's leading in your life. Do what He asks. And remember, He loves your brother as much as He loves you. Even if you are more holy.

God Bless!

“…holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:” Heb. 12:14

Simple Gifts

'Tis the gift to be simple,
'Tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
It will be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gained,
to bow and to bend, we shan't be ashamed
To turn, turn, will be our delight,
'Til by turning, turning, we come round right.

Simple Gifts was written by Shaker Elder Joseph Brackett, Jr. in 1848. It was first published in The Gift to be Simple: Shaker Rituals and Songs. Simple Gifts was a work song sung by the United Society of Believers in Christ's Second Appearing (more commonly called the Shakers, an offshoot of the Quakers). The bowing, bending and turning described in the song actually referred to the dancing that went along with many of their songs.

I sometimes catch myself feeling like the Shakers, Quakers and Amish. Keep it simple and basic. There is nothing wrong with a simple lifestyle, but I also catch myself finding comfort and security in this. I like to SEE that I'm doing something “for the Lord”. I know that many of the Amish today find security and comfort in their lifestyle. Why else would they continue in the inconvenience of no electricty...no phones...no automobiles if they didn't? Many of them don't act holy, but yet they continue with the outward appearance. I think many of them find their salvation in their lifestyle. Once again, I sometimes catch myself in this thinking. This thinking is not only inaccurate, but it is a sin and an insult to God and His Son, Jesus Christ.

Reading through Romans this morning, I was reminded of my error. In Romans 4:4-5 it says: “⁴ Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt. ⁵ But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.” I know that my works do not save me. If anyone asked me that, I would 100% of the time say “NO, a persons works can't save them!” (or something close to that). Why, then, do I find comfort and security in simplicity? Is it pride and/or self-centered-ness? Deep inside of me, I can't deny that I truly believe that this is right. That a simple life is better then a fast-paced, hectic life. Spending time at home with my family. Becoming less dependent on others (by way of gardening, raising productive animals, etc.). Trying to remove distractions like television and movies and constant noise like what we might allow radio and music to become. I'm not saying that all of these things are bad. If you could find something edifying to watch or listen to, I don't see a problem with it in moderation. The problem is convincing me that anything on TV is edifying.

I guess what it boils down to is that, to me, this lifestyle is a gift as the song states. I wouldn't trade my home and land for a big city home any day. Yes, chores in the country take time and energy. The benefits far out-way the work any day. This is not my salvation, but it is truly a gift from God.

God bless!!

“…holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:” Heb. 12:14

Church Visit

We hadn't been to church since early December. I was extremely frustrated with the church we were attending and found out some things about the church we were visiting that really turned us off. I had preached at this visiting church once and some of the members (actually more like one person) seemed to really be seeking the Lord. We stopped going there for some things we found out that we could not over-look. I have kept in some contact with the one seeking soul. Anyway, we started having church at home. I was preaching sermons or lessons after we sang hymns. Every once in a while I would find a good article or sermon from the old-time preachers on-line and would read/preach that for our service. We even delved into our vast collection of teaching/preaching tapes and CD's that we've collected over the years and listened to some of them. All was well.

I really didn't know what the Lords' plan was in all of this. Were we to stay home and worship alone forever as a family? I doubted that. Were we to start inviting others to our little services? Maybe.

Then I started getting lazy. The sermon tapes were coming out every week as opposed to once in a while. I was putting very little effort into church service. It kind of lost it's excitement. I feel terrible admitting this. I felt like I was allowing my family to spiritually starve. My own spiritual life started to grow weak.

My wife told me about a fellowship that met about 30 miles north of us a while back. She had gotten a name and phone number from a friend of ours who heard about it. Last week I felt that now was the time to call and find out about it. I got enough information about it to decide it would be a place that my family should visit, and that's what we did last weekend. Quite interesting. I wanted to share a few highlights and things that I enjoyed about this congregation and the way they conduct the service.

First off, they have one elder. They openly admit that this is not the ideal situation, but this is who the Lord has called to serve at this time. The elder told me that he has the authority to make the ruling decisions in the church, but if he did this, he would miss out on much godly wisdom the other men bring to the church meetings. They have men's meetings twice monthly. The first is a business meeting where they discuss business matters, finances and what should be done with tithes (more on tithes in a minute). The second meeting is strictly a prayer meeting. The congregation is made up primarily of farmers. There is no fashion show. Just conservative (mostly if not all) home school families. I don't believe that they are a “registered” church. That might be why, when I asked about tithing, they requested that we give cash. “There's a can that you can put it in. We prefer cash. That way the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is giving. You keep your own records at home. You are accountable to God if and what you give.” I appreciate that. Then I asked what was done with the tithe. They said that when they meet together, anybody that has a need or knows of a need will be brought up. Communion was unique. A big focus of this church is that the man leads the family. The men are responsible for the spiritual state of the family. I agree with that. The communion service went like this. A man got up and had a devotion. We sang a song. Then we meditated. When each family was prepared, the husband/father got up and gathered communion for his own family. He served his family and himself and then returned the elements to the table. I liked that, too. Each man of the church takes a turn preaching in rotation. It figures out that every second or third month, you preach a week. The elder of the church preaches every first Sunday of the month. I like that. The money a lot of churches spend on a full time paid minister could be used to help those in need (in my opinion). At the close of the service, they have a type of prayer meeting. You separate into your family groups. A man is in charge of calling on each family. The husband/father speaks on behalf of his family and makes any prayer needs known. After the family expresses the prayer need, each family prays for the need of that family. They go around the room like this until each family has an opportunity to express it's prayer needs and has been prayed for. On most Sundays, there is a fellowship meal that follows.

My wife and I really enjoyed the service. It wasn't so much the sermon, but the atmosphere. We felt comfortable and welcome there. A change for our family. We will definitely visit again. It encouraged me, also. Something I haven't experienced in a while (except by my wife). We really liked the family focus and the way each family was involved. It certainly keeps it interesting. I'll try to keep you posted on how things go.

God bless!!

“…holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:” Heb. 12:14

Babes on Milk

I had an interesting conversation a couple weeks ago. If the person with whom I had this conversation reads this, I mean no offense by this. I enjoyed the conversation. Quite stimulating. It was regarding someone who “got baptized” one or two years ago. His speech and actions don't reflect a baptism of the heart, though. This was mentioned to someone, who right away threw up the “he's a babe in Christ on milk” argument. “He needs time to grow and mature in the Lord before he's ready for meat.” This has been an excuse I've heard so many times it's not funny. So many times it's used to try to cover for a sin(s) in a persons life. I obviously can't judge this persons heart. Only God can do that. But for someone to excuse his actions because he's a “babe in Christ”, I think is unacceptable. No where in scripture does it say that it's acceptable to do this. Where it does talk about being a babe and needing milk, it is a rebuke from an apostle (probably Paul). Hebrews 5:

⁹ And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him; ¹⁰ Called of God an high priest after the order of Melchisedec. ¹¹ Of whom we have many things to say, and hard to be uttered, seeing ye are dull of hearing. ¹² For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat.

The author of Hebrews is not excusing their state of immaturity. He says that "we want to tell you all the things of Christ, but we can't because you don't listen. You should be teaching others about Christ, but instead you need to be taught AGAIN the basic principles of Christ." I know that we all grow in the Lord. I know that every day should be a new experience with Him. I also know that your life reflects that growth. You don't add Jesus to your life. You give your life to Jesus. He will change it. He will prompt you to give things up. I am a firm believer that at the time of salvation, you are immediately a changed person. Back to crucifying the old man theme. Aren't we lucky that it didn't take Paul two or three years to mature in the Lord. It said that he spent certain “days” with the disciples at Damascus. Not certain years. Right out of the gates, he was on fire. That was verse 19. In verse 20 “Straightway” he's preaching Christ in the synagogues.

I think the goal of too many churches is to get someone into the water or to repeat a prayer. I've met some manipulative preachers who convince people to say a salvation prayer. Then they don't understand why these people so quickly fall away. Many of them just think, we've got to get them baptized. From there, we can wean the world out of them slowly, as not to scare them away. Or, just let the Lord “work” in their lives. Don't reveal their sin to them. Let them figure it out for themselves. That's why these people are stagnant. Because we don't reveal their sin to them. We don't encourage them to seek the Lord. We don't encourage a walk in holiness. “Here, just put on Christ, this will get you through...Oh, that one doesn't fit? Try another one. You know, one Christ doesn't fit them all!” Sounds like nonsense, doesn't it? It's because it is nonsense! But this kind of thing happens all the time. We are afraid to encourage holy living for fear of scaring people away. I say scare them away. Maybe when they're ready for a real change, they'll come back. I doubt it though. They will find somewhere that will pamper their lifestyle.

1 John 1:6 says: If we say that we have fellowship with Him (God), and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:

It's doesn't say “aged” or “established” Christians. It says if we claim to have a relationship with God or Christ, and our lives don't reflect that, we are liars. And even children know where liars go. Remember that even Jesus turned the rich young ruler away. He refused to give up something in his life. There was one particular thing in his life that he wanted to hold onto. I don't think that it was just about his money either. He told another not to take the time to bury his family member. If you want to follow Him, it's right here; right now.

There was a young man in the church that we went to in High School. All of his brothers and sisters and friends were baptized at a young age. He waited; and waited; and waited. When someone would try to pressure him, he would say that he wasn't ready. I would not encourage his attitude, but I did admire him a bit. He knew this was a serious decision. He knew that changes would take place. I feel bad for people who know they need to do it, but put it off until a later date. He eventually “took the plunge”. I haven't talked with him for quite a while to see how his life is going. Hopefully his wait didn't disappoint him.

God bless!

“…holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:” Heb. 12:14

A Different Crucifixion

With this last weekend being Easter weekend, I did quite a bit of thinking about the crucifixion and the resurrection, obviously. My thoughts were on Jesus Christ and what He did for us by saving us from our sins. Not only saving us from the penalty of our sins, but for saving us from having to sin. I know we never have to sin, but we do. My mind was on the crucifixion of another person; myself.

Romans 6

¹ What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? ² God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein? ³ Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? ⁴ Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. ⁵ For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection: ⁶ Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. ⁷ For he that is dead is freed from sin. ⁸ Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him: ⁹ Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him. ¹⁰ For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God. ¹¹ Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord. ¹² Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. ¹³ Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. ¹⁴ For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.

I was never taught this growing up. I was taught that I will fight against sin and struggle with sin my whole life. I was taught that I will sin and, for the most part, there was nothing that I could do about it. The main scripture that I was taught was 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” A free pass to sin, right? And I did. I committed sins with every intention of asking forgiveness for it later. I felt this odd, but it went along with the teaching I'd heard. Had I ever been shown this passage in Romans (v.1), I would have known better (serves me right for not studying on my own).

I don't claim to be a perfect human. I don't claim to be sinless. With the death of Jesus, with me following Him into His death, He frees us from the bondage of sin. If He says we are dead to sin, do you think He expects us to have to conquer sin on our own. When we were resurrected with Him, we were resurrected with His power to combat sin.

When we do sin, we, being a new creature clothed with Jesus, take Jesus into that sin with us. It is not our “old man” sinning. Our old man is crucified and dead (v.6). The old man is not resurrected. If we say that our old man still lives, we say one of two things. We are not saved because we did not crucify the old man; or Jesus Christ's crucifixion was not sufficient and needs to be crucified again. We know this not to be true because of verses 9 and 10.

When we are under law, or our physical self trying to live a sinless life (or our sinful self), we are condemned by the law. We are married to that law. We want to be rid of that law and be under (or marry) grace, but we can't be married to Christ and His grace while we are married to the law. We need to wait until our first marriage partner (law) is dead. When the law is dead (allowing the old man to be crucified) we are then free to be bound to Jesus Christ and His grace. This is Romans 7:1-4.

This isn't difficult to comprehend, but it is contrary to what I have been taught. I find this right in scripture (as you see above). Jesus is not going to give me a commandment not to sin and then just leave me to figure it out on my own. He has taken care of it already. We just need to claim it. Why do we set people up to sin. Why do we expect it. It's because we have given them a free pass to sin by using the 1 John passage. This has been used by those who have tried to justify their own sin by saying we are all going to sin so get used to it; oh, and by the way, you're baptized now so here's your “get-out-of-jail-for-free” card. Yes, we are free to confess our sins to be forgiven, but this is not something we should be abusing, taking for granted or taking advantage of. This should be a rare occasion. Not something that we include in our form prayer every night before bed. This should be a sorrowful occasion. Like King David's confession in Psalm 51. He didn't weep just because he had been caught in a “big” sin. He wept and cried out to the Lord because he had sinned against God. No, this probably was not his first sin, but I'm sure he didn't hold on to the philosophy of 1 John 1:9 as a trump card either. I think we too often do.

These were my thoughts this weekend. We freely sin, hoping God's grace doesn't run out, rather than living holy lives. We want to hold on to the “old man” as a scape-goat. We need to wake up to the realization that Christ has already settled this. I think Satan makes us think it's harder than it really is. He puffs himself up by whispering to us that we have no power over sin. Sin is going to happen so just let it happen. Sin should not just happen. Our sinful self was crucified with Jesus. Let's act that way. Have you been crucified, yet?

God bless!

“…holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:” Heb. 12:14

My Daughter and Her Bible

My family and I were sitting on the couch having a spiritual discussion last night when one of the children asked why we don't let them do a certain thing. We tried to explain to them that we don't leave them unsupervised in public because of the predators that are out, and that they would like to hurt them. This, of course, led to more questions and to more discussion about molestation and rape. My eight year old daughter then brought up “the two girls in the Bible who made love to their dad.” I looked at her in a bit of shock. Then I looked at my wife to see the same confused look. I knew the passage she was talking about in Genesis, about Lot and his daughters. “Making love” is not a term that has ever been used in our house. Not because it's bad, but we just don't use it. I know for certain we would have not used it talking about this scenario. What went on with Lot and his daughters was not “love making”. When you get someone drunk to have sex with them, love has nothing to do with the act being committed (especially among family). This made me wonder where she would get this terminology and have it linked to this particular portion of scripture. I asked her where she heard that. It could have been something that we read to her at one time, but still would have not used “make love” in our discussion. She said that she had read it in her Bible. I asked her where her Bible was and she informed me that it was upstairs in her room. I asked her to go get it. Sure enough, that's exactly what it said. Genesis 19:33 says “That night they got their father to drink wine. Then the older daughter went in and made love to him.” Hmm. On one hand, I was very pleased that she was reading her Bible and retaining what she read. On the other hand, I don't want her to think this kind of sick perversion is Love. She was reading out of the New International Reader's Version “The Beginners Bible”. This is a Bible that her and her older brother received for Christmas a couple years ago from grandparents. Our oldest son's has already been replaced with the KJV. We have been putting off replacing my daughters for some reason. Looks like now is the time to get it replaced. I certainly don't want to discourage her from reading God's Word, but want her to get the real Word. Not something watered or dumbed down for kids. They know that if they don't understand something they read they are always welcome to ask their parents. That's not an issue. I told her not to read that Bible anymore. We have a New King James Version I told her to read until I could get her her very own 1611 Authorized King James Version. She'll love it. Her own “adult Bible”. This is one of the many problems I have with the various translations of the Bible. I know we've had this discussion in the past, and don't want to go off on it again, but this one hit pretty close to home. Maybe that's why there is no holiness in the churches today. There is no conviction in the churches. They are reading a watered down “feel-good” bible. I don't know. I'm confused and really kind of appalled about the whole thing. Maybe it's just me. Oh well. I just had to vent. I don't feel much better, though.

God Bless!

“…holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:” Heb. 12:14

Advice from a Martyr

I finished reading aloud the book Martyr of the Catacombs on Thursday night. Some of the dialog was above the heads of our children. I did stop frequently to quiz them on what was going on and they did ask questions. Once again, I think it is a very good book.

Just one conversation from the book that I wanted to mention. Marcellus, the Roman soldier, is so interested in the faith and peace of the Christians that he forces one of them to take him to the many living in the Catacombs. This is where he meets Honorius, the old, wise Christian. Marcellus accepts the Lord as his savior and resigns his position as a Roman soldier, despite the attempt by his best friend and superior, Lucullus, to change his mind. The persecutions increase against the Christians and Marcellus is caught and imprisoned, to go on trial the next day. Lucullus stays all night with him in his cell trying to, first, talk him into recanting his faith. Marcellus doesn't budge. After Lucullus realizes that he will not recant, he proposes to Marcellus to remain a Christian in secret. He could once again resume his position in the Roman military service and he would in turn, be able to help the Christians more by smuggling to them the food and substances they need for survival. He mentioned the other “Christians” who were living in Rome who “profess the religion of the State but in secret prefer the religion of the Christians.” He then asked “Do you call these men hypocritical and perjurers? Are they not rather your benefactors and friends?”

I fear this is the state of many of the “Christians” today. They are living two lives. Although we don't see this type of persecution on our own soil, we are afraid of the persecution of our friends and families. If we completely sell out to Jesus as Marcellus did (as we will see by his response), you can't live a double life. It's all or nothing. It's not three times a week. It's every day of every week. Although this is a fictional book, I can only stand in awe at the faith and steadfastness that these people portrayed. I've read enough accounts of the real martyrs that follow along the same lines as these. Once again...awe.

Marcellus responds. He says “These men have never learned the Christian's faith and hope as I have. They have never known the new birth, the new divine nature, the abiding presence of the Holy Spirit, communion with the Son of the living God, as I know. They have not known the love of God springing up within their hearts to give them new feelings and hopes and desires. For them to sympathize with the Christians and to help them is a good thing; but the Christian who could be base enough to abjure his faith and deny the Savior that redeemed him, could never have enough generosity in his traitorous soul to assist his forsaken brethren.” He goes on a little later to say “My Savior cannot be worshiped in this way (hidden or in secret). His followers must confess Him openly. 'Whosoever,' He says, 'shall confess me before men, shall the Son of man also confess him before the angels of God.' To deny Him in my life or in outward appearance is precisely the same as denying Him by the formal manner which the law lays down. This I cannot do. I love Him who first loved me and gave Himself for me. My highest joy is to proclaim Him before men; to die for Him will be my noblest act, and the martyr's crown my most glorious reward.”

I don't think much has changed. There are still mass quantities of Christians who don't experience the change that Marcellus describes. They don't experience the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. No new birth. No new divine nature. We may add Christ to our life, but we don't allow our “old man” to be “crucified”. No communion with the Son of the living God. We accept this as the norm. Just like Lucullus knew that there was a radical thread of the Christians, but he also thought of the “above ground” people to be Christian as well. He saw no problem with living a life honoring the ceremonies of the pagan Romans but being “Christian” on the inside. It can't mix. It's like oil and water. I know I sometimes try to keep my light hidden under the bowl. What a disservice and a slap in the face this must be to the one who created us as well as saved us from an eternal hell. It hurts me to think I may be hurting Him like that. I certainly have room to grow. This is not an excuse, but a challenge to myself. Hmm, taking advice from a martyr.

God bless!

“…holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:” Heb. 12:14

Encouraging Reads

Not much today. Just a few thoughts. Regan had a good post yesterday. One that is very personal and real to me. It was about birth control, the lack of it and letting God plan your family. Maybe I'll post our testimony and how God led us into that another day. We've had a bit of a roller coaster ride.

I've debated for a few years about reading a book (Martyr of the Catacombs) to our children. I didn't know if they were ready for it. It's a book that was written in the 19^th century about a Roman soldier and the underground Christians and the persecution they went through back in the first or second century. It's a fictional book with what appears to be some historical inaccuracies, but a very good book none the less. It's a very small book of 143 pages. The first time I read it, I finished it in two sittings (which is unusual for me). The author is “an unknown Christian” The reason I debated reading it to my children is because it opens in the Roman Coliseum with gladiator fights and women and children being mauled by wild, hungry animals. Although it's not too awfully graphic, it might be disturbing to some. The reason I like it so much is the dialog that takes place between this Roman soldier (Marcellus) and his superior (Lucullus) and between Marcellus and Honorius, an old, wise Christian living in the Roman Catacombs. The book encourages me every time I read it. Similar to John Foxe's Book of Martyrs. I will admit, the first time I picked up John Foxe's book in high school, it was for the gore. After I read through a small portion of it, the gore factor faded and the inspiration and encouragement increased. What amazing testimonies these people have made for the Kingdom of God. Their faith and endurance. I don't know if we will ever see persecution like that in the United States. It appears right now, we are just persecuting innocent babies by removing them from their mothers' wombs and persecuting those who can't think as well as we do by removing their feeding tubes. The mercy God has bestowed on these people (the martyrs) to endure the pain, torture and suffering. I think books like this are a must for every family member to read, at an appropriate age. If you have not read them, I highly recommend it. In fact, I've been searching through the house for the past week looking for Foxe's Book of Martyrs. I couldn't find it anywhere. Then my wife tells me that I loaned it to someone. I asked her who. “I don't know” was all I got. We've lost so many good books that way. Oh, well. I hope whoever has it is being blessed by it. We'll pick up another copy.

One more thing I want to mention this morning. Our family doctor, Dr. Philip Chase, has a son (John) who is 14 or 15 years old. Early last year they found bone cancer in his knee. They amputated his leg from just above the knee on down. He went through chemo and they thought all was well. Last week they were doing a routine CT Scan on him as a follow up. They found spots in both lungs (a larger one in his right and a smaller spot in his left). He is scheduled to have the spot removed from his right lung on Good Friday. Please pray. Dr. chase is a home school dad of ten children and a very Godly man. Looking for another way to get encouraged and inspired? Go to this web-site (blog) with updates of John. If you are not moved to tears (or least get emotional) there may be something wrong with you. Their faith in a real and living God is a powerful thing. If you do nothing else today, read his blog. (If the link doesn't work, it's johnnychase.org).

God bless!

“…holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:” Heb. 12:14