Church, Family and Church Family

Wow, it's been a while.

First off, we're all doing well. It's evident that we're headed into the winter up here. We've been winterizing the house by splitting and stacking wood, putting storm windows in, cleaning out gutters and raking the yard. My wife said the forecast looks like cold and wintry mixes possible this week with highs in the 40's. Seems too early to be experiencing this, but we are in the UP. Geographically, we're more than half-way (to the north) between the Equator and the North Pole.

We've had a rough week. We found out a while back that we had some distinct (and probably major) doctrinal differences with the church that we've been attending. At first, we thought that we could overlook them and just enjoy the fellowship. We love the people and they truly helped us get through a difficult time. Then some things transpired. With encouragement from the ministers wife, my wife gave counsel to some questioning women. The next Sunday, the counsel was ripped apart from the pulpit (by the ministers dad who was filling in), completely butchering the passages that she used. The question was regarding the headship at home. My wife said that the husband is the head of the wife and not the minister. She referenced Ephesians 5, 1 Peter 3 and Titus 2. Each passage specifically states the hierarchy (this may be the wrong word) of the home, without condition. It was preached that a non-spiritual man can't lead a family properly. That if he tells her to do something opposed to the word of God (or opposed to the minister), that she should come out from under his authority and do what's "right". By doing something "opposed to the word of God", I mean if the husband insisted that she stay home from church or cut her hair (ref. the passage in 1 Corinthians 11 regarding hair/covering). It's obvious to us that these are not issues that would cost the wife her salvation. The church felt otherwise. And why should she submit to him, he doesn't love her like Christ loved the church.They made it very conditional (not even mentioning the passage in Peter that specifically says that if your husband isn't a believer, submit to him so that your chase conversation (conduct) might lead him to the Lord). After this, we sat back and watched for a while. We noticed a few things. First, the minister always stated the fact that it was easier to get women into the church than it was men. My theory: by telling the women to disobey their husbands and listen to the minister, this is creating huge amounts of dissension in the home. If she constantly runs to the minster with her problems, what's this doing to the man's self-esteem? No wonder your husband doesn't "love you like Christ loved the church". And what's the point of him trying to lead his family when you're running to the minister double-guessing every decision he makes? As a man, I wouldn't go to that church either. I believe these ministries are destroying families. One poll I read stated that this denomination had the highest divorce rate among all denominations. I can believe it. They had a revival-type meeting last week. We went for one night to "observe". What we noticed was how fake-ly happy the women looked, how unhappy the children looked and how beat-down the men looked. And it was obvious that the women controlled the service. Not by the up-front leading like preaching or song leading; that would be too obvious. They were much more "worshipful" and much louder "praisers". They controlled the mood of the service. I know that might not make sense, but if you sit back and watch, you might see what I mean in your own services. Besides this, we couldn't even feel comfortable inviting others to attend the church because the other doctrinal differences. I'm glad we teach doctrine to our children at home or else this could have completely confused them. Needless to say, I let the minister know that we wouldn't be worshiping there anymore. I'm sure he'll be out to talk. We pray that God opens his heart to the truth. We'll still be friends.

Another observation we had over the weekend. This time it was Sunday at another church we were visiting. We found out that this church was of the "Free-Will" theology, meaning that once someone was saved, there was no way to lose their salvation. We also noticed that they had a huge children's ministry. I was a bit baffled for a while. I wondered what percentage of the kids that came (which it was mentioned that 25 kids came on the bus that morning), stayed in the church for three, five, ten years. I know that if one comes to the Lord, it's all worth it. And I'm not opposed to children's ministries, but shouldn't the main push be for the parents? Get them into the church? I understand that not every parent is going to be receptive of the gospel, but shouldn't that be at least a focus. Then the children just kind of ran wild. One girl had on the roller-skate shoes and was zipping in and out of the sanctuary. Then something hit me there, also. Seeing their stance on salvation, they had in mind to get the kids in, lead them in a "sinners prayer" and baptize them, then let the children run free if they chose to. According to their doctrine, the children are eternally saved regardless of the lifestyle they move onto. Their invitation to salvation seemed so passive and cold. It nearly made me shiver. We won't be going back there either.

We're going to take a break and study at home what we believe and why. First, I'm going to break down the Apostles Creed and study it out, giving scripture references. Then we'll move on to more of a Knapp's Statement of Faith. We may take a break somewhere in there to visit a home church we know of about 30-40 miles from us. I really want to solidify our core and our foundation first. I also need to find a place to baptize one of the children. Eshell checked on-line the other day the temperature of Lake Superior (just a few miles from us)...a chilly 48 degrees. Lake Michigan, about an hours drive, was about ten degrees warmer.

That's it for now. Keep us in your prayers that we survive our first Yooper winter!

God bless!