Character House

“…you have injured your own character. A man’s character is like his house. If he tears boards off his house and burns them to keep himself warm and comfortable, his house soon becomes a ruin. If he tells lies to be able to do the things he shouldn’t do but wants to, his character will soon become a ruin. A man with a ruined character is a shame on the face of the earth.”
Spoken by Charles Moody from the book “Little Britches” written by Ralph Moody.

I tore down my Character House one day last week. Both at work and at home. I can only hope and pray that it is restored to God’s glory. At work I made an inappropriate comment to someone; an unbeliever. It wasn’t sexual or vulgar. It was demeaning to someone else. As soon as I said it I regretted it. What made it worse was his saying “Gosh, and I thought you were the nice Christian type!” I could only respond “I am and I’m sorry.” I could care less if this guy thinks I’m a jerk. What killed me was thinking what his impression of a Christian has become. Am I working for the Kingdom or against it? Through God’s grace and mercy I have made a pretty good name for myself at work. How quickly I could throw all of that away. And not only ruin my name, but more importantly ruin Christ’s name as well.

Your character house is completely under your control. Only you can build it up. Only you can tear it down. I have seen people try to tear others’ down. If you have a truly good character, people will ignore the stories and rumors people conspire against you to damage it. I have seen people try to build others’ up. Parents ‘hoping’ their children will ‘inherit’ their good morals, work ethic and spirituality without actually training it into them. Only you can tear it down; your speech and actions. Only you can build it up; your servant-hood, your speech and actions. No-one can take your character house from you. It is yours. It is either your curse or your blessing.

I gave up control here at home that same evening. No, I didn’t lose control. To me, to say that you lost control makes it sound like it wasn’t your fault. It was something you couldn’t help. I could help it, just like most other people that allow their temper to get away from them. I let the evil one get the best of me. I lashed out. Once again, I regret it. I apologized. Does that make it all better? I believe my family has forgiven me. But does THAT make it all better? What memory will my children have of me as they grow. One that loves them and expresses that love. Or one that lashes out wildly at any minor whim? I hated the feeling that came over me. No, I didn’t hit anyone or abuse anyone. They certainly knew my displeasure and frustration, though. Yes, I was displeased and frustrated but that never gives me the right to act the way I did. Paul says in Ephesians 4:26 to “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:” I got part of it right. I didn’t “…let the sun go down upon my wrath:” Still, the part that tore me up was my boys. Don’t get me wrong. It is hard for me to make my daughters cry. But my boys. Is this the type of father I want my boys to become. One that doesn’t control their anger. If I don’t get myself under control, it will be. I made it a point to talk to my oldest son (9 yrs old) and explain to him that it was wrong for me to act the way I did. It was never okay to be like that. Than I had him pray for me. I think that helped to show him my sorrow for my actions. We both cried. My wife handled it like a champ. She cried too, but she never let herself get out of control. She never yelled at me. She just said in a calm, collective tone: “Troy, your upsetting the children.”

My character house is something I’ve been working on for thirty years. Actually making positive progress for about five (by God‘s grace). It’s so hard to take a bad name and make it good. It takes time, work and trust. How easy it is to tear it down. In a matter of moments, your character house can be in ruins. I pray that the Lord will help me to restore my character house. Proverbs 22:1 says: “A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favor rather than silver and gold.”

This taught me multiple lessons. One is that non-believers don’t expect (nor should they) Christians to take part in ‘coarse joking’. That has been hard for me to overcome. I have never really been a serious person. I can verbally duel with the best of them. I really feel we need to have a ‘sound speech’, though. Christ and salvation are serious matters. I don’t think we should be all gloom and doom either. A smile on your face and a “Good morning!” does wonders. Another lesson is that people are always watching you. Friends and family. We need to ALWAYS be on guard. If your family thinks you’re a hero (especially with little children) it is very easy to ruin that image with a few words and an angry spirit. I want to be my children’s hero again. I really don’t think I have done any long-term damage to my family with last weeks episode. It certainly opened my eyes to how quickly it can slip away. God, once again, has been merciful!

God Bless!

“…holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:” Heb. 12:14

P.S. Posting might be kind of sporadic this week. I will be very busy at work and I have a wedding to be in at the end of the week. Tuesday afternoon and all day Wednesday I will be in Atlanta. I will try to keep up on posting when I’m home. Thanks for reading!